Hot Stuff
Sample from ACT ONE:
. . .
Several members of the road crew are seated at the bar including VERNON LESTER, 41, a hairy-armed, tattooed veteran of Local 14. Lester is dressed in a sloppy T-shirt covered with sweat. Mister macho. A tattoo on each forearm. Medium height, pot belly, hasn't shaved in days. Sucks up beer like a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner. He POUNDS on the bar and SHOUTS at the FEMALE BARTENDER in Brooklynese.
LESTER
YO, BABY? HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE ACTION OVER HERE!
The BARTENDER, 21-year-old TERI FRANZ, has been talking to a fellow WAITRESS at the far end of the bar and snacking on a slice of pizza with broccoli topping. She looks at Lester and mimics his Brooklyn accent good-naturedly.
TERI
YO, STUD! CAN'T YOUSE SEE I'M EATIN'?
Vernon's buddies make CATCALLS to the "stud" reference which Vernon sloughs off.
Teri, feminine and petite with long, flowing hair and a cheery attitude, is an anomaly. Her charming exterior and good looks camouflage an iron will, obstinate individualism, and an inherent ability to survive.
Now she drops her Domino pizza back into the pizza box, goes over to the crew while wiping her fingers on a napkin, and takes their order.
As she's pulling drafts of beer from the spigot, Vernon sizes her up.
LESTER
Ya' know, it ain't true what they say about virile guys goin' bald. I got every hair I was born with!
TERI
No you don't. Hair's constantly falling out and being replaced. What you have isn't virility, pal, it's fecund follicles.
The men sitting at the bar with Lester GUFFAW as Lester looks dumb.
LESTER
Whatever.
TERI
And you know what else, bucko? I've learned that guys who brag about their ability to perform usually can't, you know, perform.
The crew guys LAUGH and react with a caustic "Ouch!" as Lester reels from the implication, blushes, and turns to BUDDY HAZLET, a short, pudgy 30-year-old sitting next to him at the bar.
LESTER
Listen to this dumb broad callin' me sterile! Tell that to my wife.
BUDDY
Yeah, 'n your girlfriend . . . and your beagle.
. . .